Rockaway Beach!

  

    

      i dont really have a whole lot to write, i just wanted to show y'all im still alive [: i went to rockaway beach with my really good friends; Moriah, Leah, Chris, and Logan. it was a total blast and it could have turned out any better, except for my baby *my nikon coolpix s210* it got sand in it, which sucks, but it'snt life ending. it was nice to have a final big thing for the end of summer, along with all the crazy memories that will hold tight. it was incredible and i couldn't have asked for more!

The Whole Crazy Ride!

well hello there, people who read this little thing [: sorry it's been so long *about a month* since my last post, i have been quite busy... well on to today's subject... 


i was asked last week" if you could go back to a younger you, and tell yourself things you would change or alter, what would you say?" so after a good long while of thinking and a lot of going back into memories i would rather not remember i finally got the courage up to write this. 


see, 3, maybe 4 years ago i was still in hell, oops! i mean public school, they are pretty much the same thing.... it was, to put it in the simplest terms; horrible, scaring, and terrible.  i dealt with bullying, cyber bullying, death threats, fights, just plain girl catty-ness, and all that jazz. As a result, i dropped outta centennial and was then home schooled from then on out. 

i was really thinking about what i would tell myself or change, of course i thought of the obvious, never EVER become friends with *she who will remain nameless*, never EVER wearing skinny jeans, i was NOT rockin those! never wear the neon blue+green eyeshadow, and green metallic mascara i looked like Mimi from the drew Carey show :P! tell this one guy how much you liked him, don't focus on that idiot-you were wayyyyy too good for him! and do NOT try to fit in with those plastic wannabe girls! you are your self, own it!!! 


now, in this past year, i would go back and say; don't give *A* the time of day! he is just a total waste of time, and energy. it's just gonna end in heartbreak and hurt all around. don't give *B* the time of day either, he's just a loser, jerk, and a total creep. trust *C* though, you've know him long enough! you've liked him since you first saw him, how ever many years ago-he's shy, but adorable and soooo sweet! he knows just what to say, not in a sweet-talker, only after one thing kinda way, he means it in a totally caring, sweet, and innocent way.....now enough about the boys *for now!* ;) 


going back even farther, CONTACT ZOAE!!!!!! she's your friggin cousin! you guys are so much alike, it's insane! go to stone creek sooner, it's your church home. your gonna meet some of your closest friends, and revamp long lost ones.now, leah is and still will be your best friend, y'all might as well be blood. in the last 3 years, you will have 2 major fights, and some life altering stuff, but you WILL make it out stronger. some extremely hard things will come up, but you two WILL grow closer than you can imagine.


now on to music, it's your friend, but i can bite cha in the butt! your gonna love some REALLY weird music. just embrace it, go with it. but remember, crank the screamo and country! sing til' you lose your voice. scream at concerts till you lose your voice, just lose your voice! haha :P. seriously, do that solo to your fullest possibly, you have a gift don't let it go to waste. 


last but not least, most importantly, own your religion. don't let god diminish into a concept, even when you are havin the hell-ish time in school, he.is.with.you. you are not alone. you have were, nor will you ever be. 


after i really thought about all the thing i would change, i realized something... if i was to change anything in my past, even the slightest thing, i wouldn't be the same person that i am. the only thing i would say is "you'll get through it. you'll make it through, don't give up. and you are NEVER alone, no matter how lonely you feel, you are NEVER ALONE! cling to these verses; 

• 2nd thess. 3:3 "the Lord is faithful, he will strengthen and protect you from the evil one." 
• jeremiah 29:11 "for i know the plans i have for you!" declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you. plans to give you hope and a future." 
• romans 3:23 "all have sinned and fall short of the grace of God."
• 1 corr. 15:33" do not be mislead; bad company corrupts good character." 
• psalm 34:18 "the Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
• prov. 4:23 "above all else, guard your heart." 
• psalm 139:14-16 *too long to write* :P  

sooooo i ask y'all, what would you go back and change? would you keep it all the same? comment v below and tell me. if you want to know anything about my past, just shoot me msg.  

follow or comment, let me know what you like, don't like, ect. let me know that you're reading this! :) thanks for reading!! 

-April

So where do I go from here?

      I was sitting in my room last night thinking, as many of you know I have struggled with my weight. I finally came to the conclusion that I am never gonna be model skinny. The thing that caught me was that even those models that I idolized and strived to look like, don't even look like that!!!! I mean, when I look at magazines, I see these ridiculously skinny little peppy celebs and honestly, it screws with people's heads! Photoshop is  an awesome thing, but it can also be extremely detrimental!


      Now, I'm not saying all this because I think it's bad to lose weight because that is SOOOO not what I'm saying! I, myself, am trying to lose 30 mor lbs. or however much more until I'm healthier. Sure, I'm not too badly overweight, but I am aiming to be HEALTHY! There is a difference from being skinny and healthy. I want to look good! But who doesn't? I want to be happy, comfy, and confident in who I am. I know that losing weight won't do that right away, but it's part of the process.

Reflections; Hurt and Recovery

i was thinking today *yes i know! BIG shocker* but i realized how easily people slip in and out of our lives. i have had a few people really close to me die, leave, or plan on leaving. let me tell you, it is not easy. it is not fun or something you get used to. yeah it stops hurting after a while but it will always stay with you. the thing that sucks about life, is that nothing is permanent. nothing, no matter how freakin badly we want something to last forever, something always gets in the way. it doesnt matter if  we try to stop it or not, fate or whatever always gets in the way. either you lose the person you love, or you just lose touch, it happens. yeah, that sounds all dark and depressing, but the happy side of the crap life delivers our way is that in some way, good will eventually come of it. sure, maybe not in an hour, or a day. it takes time, but in the end, it gets better. ya just gotta wait for it to start looking up.

Starting off

     Well, i finally gave into peer pressure. i have now created a blog. I don't exactly know what i'm doing, so feel free to honestly tell me what you think, and how to make it better.

   I tried to think of what I wanted to be when I grow up today. Everyone keeps asking me this clique question and I always exclaim "Photographer!" without even thinking. Many people expect me to know exactly what I want to be, right now! See, when I was younger I was dead set on becoming a baby doctor, professional motocross racer, or the even better, a monster truck driver!!! Currently my choices have been; A hair stylist, a fishing guide, and of a course, photographer. But tell me this, who made the rule that I had to decide right this very second? Yes, I am a junior, but I have a little bit of time, don't I?